Brace Yourself

It's epic. It's dramatic. It's on NBC. Folks, Heroes returns TONIGHT. THIS NIGHT. MERE HOURS FROM NOW.

Grab some adult diapers and prepare yourself for the brief-and-to-the-point Cargirl Heroes Season 3 Preview. Savor it, because all of my other reviews/previews will be novels.



QWICK LINX:
A very professional reminder of characters and their roles.
Season One overview on HeroesWiki (Tl;dr).

Let's begin with a quick overview of season two, shall we?


Season One ended with the final showdown in Kirby Plaza. When we open now, Hiro is in the past chilling out in feudal Japan with Takezo Kensei. Peter has just blown up in Kirby Plaza, and is nowhere to be found, obviously. For some reason Nathan is still alive. This is unpleasant for the viewing audience, but we soon find out he is an alcoholic, making it okay. Matt, the detective, and Mohinder Suresh form a civil union and adopt Molly who, OMFG, has superpowers too! Claire is in California sharing her powers and saliva with a creepy kid named West who can fly, and two Mexicans Hondurans are trying to find Mohinder Suresh because one of them has an evil power. Micah moved to New Orleans while Niki was off trying to kill herself and stuff, and he finds out his cousin has mad skillz at basketball, chicken-eating, and, simply put, being a "copycat" (she can see an action once and repeat it without training and stuff). Meanwhile, Peter is in Ireland BUT OMG WTF I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD!?

Shut up, I'll get there. By the way, Takezo Kensei is really a dude named Adam with the same powers as Claire. He's fucking evil, and he is British or something. No one knows he's not azn except HIRO NAKAMURA!!!! and The Company.

Peter is alive by the grace of The Company and is running around with Adam trying to expose the world to the Shanti Virus, which will kill all the heroes and everyone else in the whole world. Then, he realizes this is evil and helps The Company capture Adam while saving the Shanti virus from exposure. In the end, a shit ton of heroes die: Adam has now failed, and is subsequently buried alive in an epic win. Nathan holds a press conference and begins to reveal secrets of The Company and his powers, and is subsequently shot in yet another epic win. Sylar had no powers (also as a result of an epic win), but then got a hold of Claire's blood and shot it into his veins. Besides now having AIDS, he is healed and his powers are back.

Have you shat yet?



Season Three will pick up right where Season Two left off. Here's what you can expect tonight:
- Nathan's assassin will be named almost right away, and all across America bricks will be shat.
- We will possibly learn of some of pedophilic wincest that everyone saw coming.
- We will meet a few new heroes, and old heroes will discover new powers.
- Elle will do some pretty dumb shit, but then again what else is new?

This season is going to be epic, and tonight we'll get our first taste of some mighty fine television. Speculate in the comments section, and come back Wednesday for a full review of tonight's show.

Don't forget to buy adult diapers. Cargirl out.